


You Can Cry

by Gaybrand



Series: one offs/short stories [9]
Category: Everyman HYBRID
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Nightmares, evan has problems crying in front of other people, slight descriptions of violence, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-18
Updated: 2018-09-18
Packaged: 2019-07-14 00:30:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16029263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gaybrand/pseuds/Gaybrand
Summary: evan has nightmares hes convinced mean something





	You Can Cry

**Author's Note:**

> wrote this in like two hours also steph an evan are??? a good couple thank u

He was almost sure his own whimpering had woken him up, his own jerking movements had definitely startled him and his own damn head throwing itself into a panic. 

Choking on his own breath as he tried to catch it, evan was shaking and very close to letting himself cry, this instance of night terror seeming justified enough to be vulnerable, as long of course, if he was alone. As far as he was concerned no one needed to see him like that. He almost tried to count, something he used to calm and ground himself, but he has too upset to remember to and desperate to allow himself to feel anything. 

Unfortunately he'd potentially misjudged this as a time he was alone, and he couldn't stop holding his own arms and rocking back and forth, his vision clouded and his voice whimpering pathetically without him meaning to. He couldn't force himself to calm down having started and nothing, not even steph stirring beside him as he sat up rocking, would stop the tears and shaking.

“Evan?” her deeper voice cracked softly, there was something soothing in how she spoke. He didn't know how to lie and say he was fine this time, and before he could force some excuse out she reached over and turned on the lamp on their bedside table and sat up. The orange glow clearly showing evans face an body language. 

“Hey what's wrong?” she gave him a very gentle look of concern and tried to move closer to him. Evan hid his face the best he could. 

“I'm..ok” he muttered keeping his head down and doing his best to keep his voice steady, though he could tell it was a failing effort. 

“I'm not dumb Evan, whats wrong,” she said very softly running her fingers through his hair, her body language more indicative of her concern than her words. 

“Just some ….dreams hun i'm fine.” he admitted not looking in her direction.

“Did they scare you.” 

“No no...i'm not scared..i'm fine..”

“Evan don't lie to me.”

“Look it's just… not big deal just a dream it's nothing t’cry about” evan muttered, “it's not important you should go back to sleep.” 

“I could hear you muttering and crying in your sleep, there's no reason to play games just tell me what's wrong.’ steph wrapped her arms around his waist, cuddling his shoulder. Comfort to combat the shame of being heard even if he couldn't control it.   
“ it was just a fuckin...bad dream it..”

“About what?” she interrupted.

“People...died” evan shifted and shook his head “it was just a dream…” 

“Who died?” steph murmured, rubbing his belly in small comforting circles. 

“Everyone.” evan sniffed “an...an i killed em..” 

“I see.” she kissed his cheek and turned his head to look at her, he kept his face down knowing she could still see his tears but ashamed nonetheless. “But you wouldn't do that it's not you, and everyone is still here.” 

“...i killed you, you were just bleeding out on the floor and i just watched and ..and jeff he was cryin an screaming and i don't think he could walk and he was covered in blood n there was...fire...vince..vince was chokin,,,i was strangling him i...he had bruises everywhere an i knew they were my fault…. I killed nick...i killed al, n jessie an..an jessa..” 

“Hey hey no shhh no you didn't.” steph kissed his forehead and pet his hair to soothe him as he was breathing heavily and panicking again. “ you didn't do that and you wouldn't do that, “

“I..i hurt everyone...maybe i'm...not safe… maybe i shouldn't be around…”evan said, surrising himself with being that honest. 

“Listen evan that's just you being upset right now it's just a dream, dreams are just whatever. “ she looked him in the eye “ we all need and want you here, you're no more dangerous than me or jeff or vinny, and jessa...wasn't your fault. I know you probably feel guilty for it but it wasn't your fault. “

“She...she was my friend…” he sniffed “i...i loved her like a sister.” 

“I know. I loved her. I miss her, and i feel guilty too but it's ,,,it's not your fault or my fault.” steph sighed “and i know jeff doesn't let you talk about her but it's ok evan. She was your friend too. ” 

Evan was quiet for a few minutes, calming down some though he was still upset. He leaned back and propped himself against the wall and steph let him move away from her, presumably thinking he needed some space. He didn't know what he needed. His eyes hurt and burned, his mouth was dry and his head ached, he was somewhat of a mess and it really didn't feel good. 

“It's ok to cry,” steph murmured eventually “you aren't invincible and you aren't some robot without feelings.” 

“I don't want to.” he hugged his knees.

“I can't blame you, it's not usually fun but it's good for you sometimes.” she put her arm around his shoulders again, playing with his hair and trying to be a comfort, and it was working.

“I look fuckin stupid..” he still couldnt handle looking at her, rife with alot of embarrassment and guilt, and he couldn't stop seeing the ghost of the dream stephanie, fearful and in unimaginable pain. 

“No you look pretty normal. Everyone cries and if they don't they're lying.” she kissed his cheek again, “there's nothing wrong with crying.” 

There was more quiet though he was starting to feel, if not better at least calm. Despite her being so small, he felt safer in her arms. 

“Steph? I love you. “ he murmured finally able to look her in the face, a sweet tired smile gracing her soft features melting away the last traces if the dream. 

“I love you too.”

“I mean it. You're so wonderful i love you,” he uncurled himself and pulled her close so she was on his lap, an kissed her. 

“You're cute, “ steph pet his hair and leaned over to kiss his nose.

“No that's you,” evan cracked a smile for the first time, warmer in the face from her comment. She smiled and moved off his lap to pull him down next to her on the bed. Evan curled up and held her close for comfort like a stuffed animal. 

“You ok?” she murmured 

“Yeah..now. I love you stephie.” evan said, he could see her smiling, though she thought he couldn't see. 

“I love you too evan.”


End file.
